Start from a Place of Love
When we want to make changes in and improve upon our lives, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional, one of the most important and often most difficult things to remember is to start from a place of love and kindness towards ourselves.
Many of us have been trained to be hard on ourselves in order to ‘push through’ and ‘make things happen’. Although this may work in the short term, it can ultimately lead to burnout and it sets up a dynamic with ourselves that says we’re not ok where we are right now, that this isn’t a good starting point, that we “should be” somewhere else or have things figured out better already. There are very good, very real reasons for the struggles each of us encounter in our lives. Being hard on ourselves doesn’t allow us to acknowledge the fact that given all the circumstances, we have really done the best we could do to get where we are now. Whether we realize it or not, we have worked hard on our own behalf.
That’s not to let us off the hook, but rather a way to frame where we can start from. Instead of saying, “I’m not happy with how things are and I just need to kick myself to get there”, we can instead say something like, “I have done the best that I could to get where I am now and I'm pleased with myself for getting this far, and I’d like to change some things and achieve the goals I have for myself.” For most of us, the next step is…”and I could use a little help getting there.” We’re also conditioned to try and figure things out all by ourselves, when in fact, even a little help can go a very long way, and we actually can function better as humans when we know there is another person who cares that we achieve our goals for ourselves and will champion our efforts.
There are times when we absolutely need a little extra "push" in order to move through stuck places, and that push will look different for each of us. For many of us it may actually mean less pushing and more flowing rather than trying to control everything. For others, it will mean taking action instead of waiting for everything to be just right. If the push we need is going in the right direction, we might feel a little uncomfortable doing it and that just means that it's clearing out the muck that's been holding us back. This is where having support for our efforts really comes in handy, whether it be coffee with a friend, our weekly yoga class, working with a personal coach, energy healer or mental health professional. Having a loving community we're connected to can go a long way in keeping us on the right track and may even help in finding resources that we're not aware of.
This week, try thinking of one thing you are pleased with about yourself, something you are pleased you did to get where you are today. If you think of more than one, great! And use that place of feeling pleased with yourself as a starting point towards achieving your goals and desires. Then ask yourself, “What do I want to do from here? What’s my next step? And maybe, “Who could support me in my endeavors?” Or, “Who already gives me love and support for my dreams and desires?” Check in with yourself, start from a place of love, and see where life goes from there. You may be pleasantly surprised.
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